Garlic shrimp





Eating Healthy and Low carb
Garlic Shrimp and Brussel Sprouts
8 Brussel Sprouts cut in half
8 pre cooked shrimp
2 garlic cloves sliced
a pinch or 2 of basil
salt and pepper to taste
about a tsp butter
olive oil
Preheat a skillet with a little olive oil, add garlic and brussel sprouts, cook for about 2 min on med-high heat, flipping your sprouts, add butter, once it’s melted add your shrimp, season with salt and pepper and basil. Make sure you flip your sprouts and shrimp so that both sides have nice color. Once everything has a nice brown color its done
Plate and Enjoy

posted by phoxes in diabetes,food and have No Comments

Detox Drink

1393513_766958750015079_8176760151286680959_n1 glass of water (12-16 oz.)
2 Tbsp. Apple Cider Vinegar (Braggs from Hy-Vee / non pasteurized)
2 Tbsp. lemon juice
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 Tbsp. Raw Honey

Blend all ingredients together

Secret Recipe Detox Drink will help your body burn fat, lose weight, fight diabetes.

Apple Cider Vinegar is full of enzymes and good bacteria. It contains acetic acid which has been shown to lower blood pressure up to 6%. It can also help eat up the starches if you do eat grains in your diet. (I use Bragg – Apple Cider Vinegar)

Lemon juice helps balance blood sugar and has an alkaline effect on your body helping to regulate ph. It contains, Vitamin C. ( use Lakewood Organic PURE Lemon Juice)

Cinnamon is one of the best anti-oxidants on the planet. It is the number one herb/spice for balancing blood sugar.

Honey is very rich in various beneficial substances and can be used even for weight loss. For centuries it treated wounds, and also lung, gynecological, skin and heart diseases. One teaspoon of honey reduces pain in the throat, and even can calm nerves and can be very helpful to lose weight. It contains enzymes that stimulate the digestive process and boost your metabolism, which contributes to weight reduction.

Last comment, Use Braggs apple cider vinegar. Using the pasteurized one is not the same. You can find Braggs in the Hy-vee health food section.

posted by phoxes in diabetes,recipe and have No Comments

Avocado and Tomato Salad

936485_472158749540427_1772276546_n4 cups avocados, diced medium
2 cups grape tomatoes or 2 cups cherry tomatoes
2 cups cucumbers, peeled and diced medium
1 cup red onion, diced small
4 tablespoons fresh cilantro, chopped
2 teaspoons fresh garlic, minced
2 tablespoons lime juice
1/4 cup olive oil
fresh black pepper
Lettuce (if you want)
Toss all ingredients in a bowl and top on a bed of lettuce (if desired)
Makes 8 servings
Calories 201.9 Total Fat 17.9 g Sodium 10.2 mg Total Carbohydrate 11.6 g Dietary Fiber 5.8 g Sugars 1.8 g

posted by phoxes in recipe and have No Comments

Hard to deal with

I’m my own worst enemy.  I’m extremely hard to deal with, when it comes to me dealing with myself.untitled-11  I see now that I’ve basically tortured myself… knowingly hurting myself.  Everything I’ve done the past 3 months has been wrong for me.  I’m telling myself that today is going to be different. I’m sick and tired of telling myself that, and I’m sick and tired of using “I’m” for the start of almost every sentence in this paragraph. Something has to change. My health, of course, is my concern. I’m not being fair with myself.  I’m caving in to any and all of my cravings, as if I’m forcing myself to get sick.  It has to stop.  TODAY!  I feel like crap.  I feel like just sleeping forever.  I’m so tired and can’t keep my mind on my work.  Actually I’ve felt like total crap for a month now.  And I’m not doing anything about it. I don’t feel sorry for myself.  (I’m sure you can tell).  I blame myself.  I need to remember to thank God for my problems and keep in first and foremost.  Lord help me.

posted by phoxes in diabetes,health,life,my life,Uncategorized and have No Comments

My 84 days of Summer

84days2So this is it.  I have 84 days.  This puts it at August 25th.  Hopefully in 84 days I will not only become one year older, I’ll Have lived 4 decades.   And today is the start that hopefully I will have changed a major part of my recent lifestyle.  A lifestyle change that will allow me to be around hopefully another 40.  I have been going downhill fast and I’m definitely feeling the effects of my unhealthy lifestyle.  Having diabetes as well as all the other 5 other risk factors for heart disease doesn’t give me a fair advantage.  Why 84?  Well the way I see it, if I can meet my modest goal within the 3 months, I know I can meet my overall goal for the rest of the year.  I’ve realized that the only thing I don’t have control of is my age (or so they say, BRING ON #40!), so……here goes nothing God willing.  Wish me luck.

posted by phoxes in life,my life,phox thoughts and have No Comments


posted by phoxes in Music,phox thoughts and have No Comments

Another year, again and again

Here I sit, in the same spot, telling myself I’m not feeling sorry for myself.  I’m not better off, as I don’t take care of myself.  I’m a little nervous to say I’m worried about my next Dr. visit in a few weeks.  I need to somehow snap out of this spell.  My depression is worse, yet I find such weird ways to keep it at bay.  But only for a short while.  It’s much harder for me to remember the small things that happen daily in my life.  I hope I get better.  It’s all I think about any more… from the time I wake to the time I sleep.  I’m literally exhausted by bed time anymore.  I just want my life back.  God willing.

posted by phoxes in Uncategorized and have No Comments

Again and again…

I’m feeling sick again.  It’s not like I ever got better.  I actually fooled myself into thinking I’m better, but my body is hurting and that easily breaks my selfish foolishness quite easy.  Hence New Year Resolutions!  We shall see.  I’ve started off January 1st, 2013 on a good note.  Followed my regimen to a tee.  We shall see about the rest of the 364 days left this year.

It will be a good year…  (pause)

I have to tell myself that.  I really don’t have any other options to go with.  With God by my side, I will concur this pain.  I’m on my second year (almost to the week exact) that I was officially diagnosed with a bunch of junk, as well as depression along with generalized anxiety disorder.  As of my last visit a few months ago, my depression was further classified as dysthymia. I’ve been on medicine for 2 years now to treat all my symptoms.  This past year I even participated in a 10 week double-blind study (actually helped, but relief went away shortly after the study ended.  We have tried different treatments, especially with medicine for the anxiety and depression, but my last go at that basically put me into a major spin, which I’d have no way to operate at work feeling like that, so they put me back on my old medicine.

I think what I regret most is my reluctance to ask for help from my family and friends.  I have a wonderful wife by my side, and I hide (sometimes) my feelings and my actions from her.  Very few people know of my struggle and that puts me into a lonely position as well. I’m wondering if this post is my way of asking for help, or acknowledgement for sideline support (and I’m not sure what else will help me, so I figured I’d at least give it a try.)  I hide my condition from people, mainly because I’m embarrassed and I know there are people out there worse off than me, so I don’t want that kind of attention.   I also feel like others may think I’m a fake.  I feel stupid writing that, but I just had to come out and say it.  I’m really not wanting recognition or people to feel sorry.  I just want help!  I’m not sorry, I thank God daily for my trials.  He has sure put me to the test.  Like I said….  this is going to be a good year (pause)….

I come home thoroughly and utterly exhausted from work.  I think I go all day trying my best to hide my feelings and put on a fake smile so too often. As soon as people leave my office, I too often find myself biting my lower lip, trying to hold back the exorbitant amount of emotions I had just stocked up on.  It affects my work to say the least.  A few times I can bunker down beneath my feelings and hide them from myself for a while.  That is like the best drug I could ask for, as it secures me for a little while.

I call my self the “planner”.  I use it as a way to schedule my days, and weeks ahead.  I feel as if I need to immerse myself with family, so I call them way in advance to set the dates for weekend dinner plans, etc.  This temporarily makes me feel better until the time comes, and I’m there, and I’m ready to go home to the quiet.  And then when I’m at home, I loose it because I miss my family, and didn’t spend enough time with them when I was with them just an hour ago.  I then get in my vehicle, usually with wife beside, and just drive and drive and drive, until I’m ready to go home again (at least a few hours).  My wife is pretty sick of my driving loop.  I usually pick the same driving routes, and the scenery gets a little old for her.

I’ve lost some opportunities the past two years, because of my depression, for sure.  I want my life back.  I want myself back but I feel like I’m in the largest cage.

Due to the sensitivity of this subject, I want it to be known that I’m getting help, and I’m not in a position to want to hurt myself; nor do I think I ever have been.  I thank God for that.  I have enough sense to know that God doesn’t want me to take the ‘easy’ way out.  I like things complicated!

I thank God for giving me another day to work this out.

Today is January 12th.  I actually started this post on January 2nd.  I think I have edited this post at least four different times now (today it’s January 30th February 10th and I still haven’t published this post, and have edited it again and again and again….lol).  Reluctant to say the least of publishing this post.

Now it’s April 7th.   Had a wonderful day at my folks house yesterday.  Happy Birthday, Mom!

Now it’s June 5th.  My new years resolution didn’t last long.  I went back to the Dr. May 1st with problems worse than when I began.  My A1C was over 8 (higher than expected) and I had weighed in heavier than I originally did when I was diagnosed over two years ago.  My depression has been getting worse and my anxiety has kept me from living any sense of a normal life.  I must say that it’s the most horrible feeling in the world to feel like you are trapped in your own little box.  And when you are in that box, you hear nothing, see nothing, feel nothing, but a deep and utter emptiness that goes so far as to try and take all your breath away.  I’ve had this feeling the past two weeks more than ever.

I went back to the Dr last week with good news.  I dropped 14 lbs since a month ago, and the new medicine is getting my sugar levels back to where they belong.  The Dr has also changed my mood altering medicine since he thinks that maybe my body had slowly become immune to the stuff I had been taking for the last 2 years.  The past 2 days have been tolerable.  Today has been the best I’ve felt all month.   I sat down at my computer this morning at work, and see all the stuff on my desk and tagged emails that remind me to do something with them.  This is the hard part trying to remember and organize myself from over the past month of losing sight and mind.  But God willing, I’ll make it through this.

May 30th, I had a panic attack while AT the Dr.’s office.  He confirmed I wasn’t having a heart attack and then decided to change my medicine again and now has me seeing a specialist.  I took my medicine when I left and then thought it would be a bright idea to go towards work.  Worst mistake of the year.  I won’t go into too much detail, but my vehicle ride felt like I was in a ride to hell.  I had to get off the freeway and take back-roads all the way to work; which was a master feat in itself.  When I finally made it to work, I ran out of my truck, into my office, and put my head on my table…..   and fell asleep.

I’ve lost a few more lbs.  I think I’m down about 28 lbs or so.  Still have a looooong way to go… but I really am trying my hardest.

Now it’s August 18th, just a few days till my birthday.  I see the Dr in a few weeks again.  I’m not sure how this is going to turn out.  I feel like I’m getting better, but other times I know I’m not.  It’s very confusing.  I sold my motorcycle.  Didn’t think I’d ever do that.  It was too dangerous for me to ride when I get super anxious.  Hopefully some day I can get another one.  I found another outlet to spend my time, by fixing up another boat.  Although for all the work I put into it so far, I don’t feel relaxed.

I think I’m finally going to hit the post button on this one and put it out there.  Here we go….

posted by phoxes in breaking depression and have No Comments

Basement Bar

When we originally purchased our house years ago, the basement was finished and had a nice 20’x15′ area for a family room.  We used it for that for a while, but then things changed, my kids ended up living with us, Alex went to job corps, and then when she returned, we ended up letting her use the basement as her room.  Now that Alex moved out on her own, we decided to spruce up basement by turning it into a living room/bar area.  I’ll keep this post updated as we get further along.


Everything starts with a plan.  Here is a rough sketch my dad and I drew up…

Early on rough sketch bar plans


Shopping for things

Here are a few things we were looking at for the bar…


Saturday, February 2nd

Water valve under the sink was leaking, so I went ahead and fixed while running some new lines out to the living room wall, where the bar sink will go.

Sunday February 3rd

Room before tearing apart.


Scraping off the popcorn ceiling








posted by phoxes in home improvements and have No Comments



from January 13th…

I had a really vivid dream last night.  Maybe it’s the cough syrup, but something made this one stand out.  I’ve been thinking about it all day.

I was sitting on a fallen tree, with the snow gently blowing, staring off into the open field, which went on for at least a quarter mile until the snow turned the backdrop completely white.  I was at a forest’s edge, with it to my back.  From behind, I could hear the birds talking, the squirrels jumping between the naked limbs, and the large trees gently swaying to the winter wind.  In front, I heard the dead grass sway and the gentle wind blow, as snow tumbled and tossed in front of me like a show.  A creek was gently flowing.  Ice clinging to sides with water running underneath.  Surreal to say the least.  My thoughts were empty, just enjoying the cage of sights and sounds within my head.  I felt alone and en-caged within this little perfect world.  It felt so real, and the sounds were so vivid.  The smell of cold was distinct, but I felt nothing but great warmth inside.

I peered into the swaying field with my mind in a numbing trance.  I fixated a point off into the snowy distance.  The point slowly faded from snow white to human form as it walked towards me through the snowy field.  A young girl no older than ten years came towards me smiling.  Bundled tightly in a black winter coat, over sized black mittens, with big large black fluffy ear muffs covering her head.  Her hair was a long curly brown and her eyes a piercing green against the monochrome field backdrop behind her. Her cheeks were a puffy red, from the cold of the winter air.  Dimples stood proudly while she grinned a happy face.

[I have seen this girl before, but I can’t for the life of me remember where.  When I first saw her in my dream, a feeling of deja vu overcame me.]

She stood a good six feet away from me.  She maintained eyesight while removing her black shawl.  She then knelt on one knee, and put the shawl in between us on the ground within a good sized square.  Before only a few flakes of snow could cover the cloth, she grabbed the two ends and threw it in the air.  A wood fire appeared beneath, and crackled  a warm orange glow.  She again looked me in the eye.  Now the fire reflected in her eyes, and the warm smile reflected in my mind.  The smell of hickory now filled the warm snowy air.  My senses were on sensory overload as I tried to take it all within.  We stood with the fire between us and she seemed to be at ease.

My dream ended shortly thereafter, but not before she asked me a very simple but seemingly open ended question.  She asked, “What is it like?”

I stood silent and motionless for a moment… staring her in the eyes.  A surge of emotion filled my head and all of a sudden, for the first time, I felt really cold.  My sight fell down towards the fire, and as quickly as the emotion filled my mind, it emptied, fanning the flames further into the air.  That phrase “What is it like?”, echoed in my mind until finally the sound of the surroundings came back into focus.  The crick was babbling, the field was bowing, the trees were creaking, and the fire was cracking.  Warmth started once again to fill me.  Still staring at the fire, I proceeded to answer her. I slowly replied, “Like a stomach full of butterflies…”

I don’t believe my dream went much further than that.  I’ve been thinking about this all day!  It’s driving me nuts.  I’ve tried to picture where I’ve seen this girl, and I’m pretty sure I understood her question, although unsure why she would have asked.  I really wish I had a dream expert that could give me a few clues!  It’s literally driving me insane!!! Whats more, it snowed this afternoon, and that made me think about it even more.  I lit a fire in the fireplace and imagined a lot of different endings, but none seemed quite right other than the ending that happened, even if it was cut a bit short.

posted by phoxes in dreams and have No Comments